ADVANTAGES OF DATING A PLUS SIZE WOMAN.

“Making fun of fat people won’t make you any thinner, and making fun of ugly people won’t make you any prettier, and making fun of unsuccessful people won’t necessarily make you successful, so leave the creatures to the One who created them. Instead of making fun of people, work on improving YOURSELF.”

Most people disrespect and hate overweight plump women for one reason or another. People will always tell the negative part of dating a fat lady not realizing benefits of such women. Like guys, have you seen us!!?? I wouldnt say i am tired and fed up of this because, i mean, some things will just never change. Like other women talking ill of us. (BBW) But then, what they really dont get is that there is nothing much of a difference between the big and the skinny.

People often say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing you are the beholder. Always.

When it comes to dating, everyone has their preferences. Some people like their partners to be taller, some shorter, some smaller, and others bigger. While it may not always seem like there are people out there who genuinely want to date a plus size woman, but there are! In fact, there are many who see the advantages that come with deciding to date big girl. Here are just a few of those advantages that men love so much

Sense of humor.

Plus size women have a great sense of humor. They know how to humorously turn every boring moment into fun time. Don’t ignorantly judge a book by its cover, they are smart and intelligent people.

They are charming

Fat girls know very well that their looks will probably not arrest your attention like curvy smaller women. To solve this they will often appear charming and sociable hence will click with you in no time. Attitude is a word they leave with you to describe the other women with smaller physiques.

She Will Not Pretend to Be Something She is Not

A bigger girl will not try to be something she is not just to impress you. There are many jokes about skinny girls ordering salads on the first date, just to make themselves appear to like what the guy may expect. A big girl would never do that; she’ll eat and say what she wants because you will either like her or not. She also will not hesitate to speak her mind on a given matter, especially if she has strong feelings about it.

Pleasing personality.

Admit it, the pretty women you’ve dated don’t always have an endearing personality. Since they think the world of themselves, don’t expect them to be all that nice towards you. That’s something you won’t have to deal with when dating a fat girl. Fat girls have a fun and bubbly personality and they don’t feel that the world revolves around them, making it easier to deal and hang out with them.

Easy to talk to.

One of the things that make a fat girl interesting to date is their ability to talk about anything. Since they’ve made it a point to focus more on their brains and their personality instead of just their looks, they can engage you in a variety of topics that will keep you from being bored

The big body size is adventurous

The big physique gives you an interesting job; that of exploring her enormous body that is full of surprises every single day. You are likely to discover new beauty spots even under her balloon-like boobs. You will also discover that they are good comforters because when you lie on their bosom, your problems tend to billow away like light smoke

Fleshy wet sex

Sex with fat girls is wholesome because they are tangible due to their fleshy bodies. There wells seldom go dry and when they are aroused they become jelly and juicy. Even though they get exhausted faster than smaller ladies, they are always willing to try out new stuff. As if that is not enough, her thunderous thighs cushion their partners well when she is on top. The road to orgasm gets shorter then shortest in a no time.

There are a thousand and one reason why we are loved by a specific type of people. Get yourself a plus size woman.Do not miss out.

‘Healthy emotions come in all sizes. Healthy minds come in all sizes. And healthy bodies come in all sizes.’
– Cheri K. Erdman

Until next time….

ONE STEP AT A TIME.

The first time Natalie laid eyes on Muse, she knew she finally found all she ever wanted in a lady. Her athletic body, her way of dressing, her smile could light up an entire club. Little did she know, Muse had opened a portal of total darkness. Natalie was blinded. She was in love .she couldn’t see what really was happening to her. Days turned into months and months into years. All that glow she had was slowly dimming. She was getting into something darker and scarier….

Muse, the once romantic, funny, “the queen of her life” as she would be called turned out to be the King of punches. a serial cheat.  She had the keys to Sodom and Gomorrah. All kinds of women would flock on her every time they went out. Muse enjoyed it she sure did love attention. Natalie on the other hand, swore never to go out with ‘her queen’ the pain was too much for her to bare as she wouldn’t take the pain of being forgotten in the club not once or twice. She was fed up of getting small notes on the back pocket of Muse’s clothes every time she did laundry. She was fed up of Muse not coming back home for days and when she did come, the smell of cheap liquor and cigarettes and a different cologne, but Natalie could not walk away. Maybe she was addicted to the pain. Or that is how ‘she loved her women’ as her friends would tell her every time she opened up to them. Or maybe she was just into bad girls.

Natalie never wanted to give up. For once in her lifetime she promised herself she would stay through thick and thin and never give up on one thing that was not only her happiness, but also her nightmare. “She will change maybe”. “She will learn to love me again as she did the first few months we met” She was optimistic. But never knew what damage was being done to her.

Muse would ask her to change her dress code… she dint like her hairstyle. She was too fat to fit in dresses so jeggings would do. “Put your hair down to cover the marks on your neck. I wouldn’t want our friends to ask a lot of questions about them”, Muse would say. Natalie avoided arguments so like a fool, she would obey.

Natalie had to do what she had to do. To change herself for her to be a perfect wife. She would go for days without food.  Just to trim her tummy. At least Muse would give her attention the way she gave these other women and maybe the nicknames like ‘Garfield’ and ‘Kanono’ would reduce.

It’s just sad how much she tried fitting in yet even her very close friends and family  never saw depression had creeped in. Yes, because she was very good at acting like everything was perfect in her life and how happy she was.

She thought she could give Muse just one last chance. And if things get worse she would walk away. But if she walks away, where would she go? She had built life around this poison that was killing her slowly. How would she break this wall and be able to face life on her own and start afresh? She couldn’t. She was scared. She was weak. 

Muse as usual came home drunk. But this time it was different. She came with a visitor. Jade. They looked happy. They looked in love. Natalie could see how Muse looked Jade in the eyes. She had never seen spark in Muse’s eyes like the way she saw that night. Natalie prepared dinner for them, gave them clean clothes to change. They kissed. They hugged. They played around and laughed.

Muse was happy.

Natalie…

This was not her place anymore. She went to the next room to catch some sleep. She had an early morning the next day. Rent was due. She had to sort it out. She could not sleep. The music Muse was playing was too loud.  

Natalie woke up, dressed, packed her bags, called for Uber, she wanted to say her goodbyes….But then. Muse and Jade were busy enjoying the love songs in each other’s arms. So she left.

It’s been five months now. Natalie id damaged.Natalie is alone but not lonely. She is happy. She smiles now.  She is glowing.

She is slowly getting over Muse.

One step at a time.

IN PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.

Sometimes, In the most absurd, off-guard, inconceivable moments; sometimes in the height of our folly and the glories of our youth- we meet our truths. We meet our authentic self’s, our virtues, hopes and desires reflected in something or someone- and it was all I could possibly imagine. Ultimate Bliss. Ultimate happiness. An ultimate union.

Let’s cut through the chase.

Like how all good stories began, I met a guy- his name is Israel. And we get along.

At the heart of Karen, in Nairobi. I hosted a ‘subtle’ birthday party- cosy if you may. Pardon the ball gowns and Luis Vuitton print cake. The festivities were delightful. They really were

 But are you even human, if you can’t admit that, when the party’s over, you don’t wanna walk home alone; in the desolate silence of the Nairobian night and go sleep to an empty cold bed.  No worries though, I am human. And I chose not to be alone that night.

I saw him, in all his glory, with that strong Congolese flair. In all his calmness, clearly in his element. Clearly from my party. I looked him deep in his eyes and told him;

‘ Can I go home with you tonight? I don’t want to sleep alone.”

It must have been a lucky night for him.

“Sure! Sure! You are welcome to my place.”

“ We are not having sex BTW.” I said in the most blunt form imaginable.

“Okay.”he said, with a naughty look in his eyes. My instincts were right. He lied.

Save all the after party drama that being in a cab let’s you witness, we more or less, got home in one piece. In the middle of the night, in my lovely red ball gown, intensely designed nails with a perfect blend of transparent, gold and black Polish; with make-up done the Nairobian way, I was a princess- and just for tonight I had chosen him to be my prince charming.

And yes- he is marvelous. Once in a blue moon, you get the most heartfelt cuddles, the most enlightened conversations from a stranger’s bed. And it’s real. It feels real. It looks real. Because it is real. We talked about life, love, loss, death and unrecognized love. We talk about ex lovers(mine of course). Then we talk some more. Dawn came as we shared about our experiences, misfortunes and gains- and maybe for a moment_time stood still. We belonged to each other and there, life was worth living.

We slept in each others arms. We kissed and cuddled some more. Then more. We feel asleep in each other’s arms- well at least I did. Next thing I remember was his hands down my sweet spot and me screaming uncontrollably in the midst of the sleep high. We did again and again. We ate about to it actually. And it’s magnificent.

What’s better than sex, is him. Clique as it maybe, his heart is golden. His love for his is unparalleled. He loves reggae. A lot. He takes care of his own. With him, it’s always joy, Bliss, meditation and fun. His forehead kisses are to die for. There is no morning I do not give thanks for him. My joy is his. And his is mine. As long we stare into each other’s eyes, we will be fine.

Tecla.

LETTER TO MY EXES

Dear…,

Thank you for teaching me that love comes into your life so unexpectedly sometime, just like you all did. Thank you for helping me heal from wounds I didn’t think ever would. Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for the love songs. Thank you for loving me even when I couldn’t love myself. Thank you for the long walks and never ending messages and calls. Thank you for the gifts. Thank you for the disappointments and heartaches; the sleepless nights…..I appreciate it all.

I would have stayed forever if you would have kept me. But as they say the cheese stands alone… I would like to thank you all for the experiences.
I hope where all of are you have found true happiness.

As for me, i have found peace and happiness in life. I know to some of you i was a pain the ass and to others, haha you still cannot get over what we used to be. I do not blame either of you. It was good while it lasted.

All of you have played a role and made me who i have become now. I am very grateful. I have had quite a few exes and wow wish i could write my experiences with all of you but…

To those who fucked me up, i forgive you. You were young dumb and broke hihihi ….. Anyway, i have come to learn to love the right way, I have learned to be an open book to the ones in my life now. I have learned to approach issues in a more mature way. I am not the young girl who would get mad over everything all the time. It has come to cross my path that not all actions need reactions. I have learned to choose what should stress me and what shouldn’t that is why i always have a smile on my face and actually glowing as i have been told.

I am at a very good place in life. You all have showed me that we should not expect too much from people we date but rather go with the flow. I have also come to learn that you cannot force love. Two hearts that were meant to be will be no matter how long it takes or how big the distance is. And the heart always wants what it wants. If you are not contented with the person you are with, walk away, find someone who makes the hair on your neck stand up, someone you will look into their eyes and see the spark, someone you will connect with in all angles of life , ie both mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually, someone you will think or rather want to be with for the rest of your life. DO NOT FORCE LOVE.

I also have learned, never to settle for less just because of dry spells or lonliness. No matter how long it takes, wait for your Mr. or Mrs. right. Do not waste other peoples feelings just for fun. Always go for the best. Also Fight for what you believe in an who you really want. Do not let a crazy ex girlfriend or the trophy girlfriend get in way of your happiness. Fight.

I know i am not an easy person to love. But when i do love, i give my all. Should i call this a weakness or my strength. I am the kind of human who will stand the pain someone will put me through because i believe in not giving up on the things you love or care about. Worst part of all this, some of you took advantage of that and this part,has made me to be very picky and control over my feelings. As they say, “Be careful of a woman who can control her feelings” we are a clicking time bomb.

To those i fucked up, i do apologize but I am sure you also learned. It sure is life. If it was the old me, i could be writing this with so much hatred and anger but I am actually too happy writing this piece and very much at peace with myself. Good vibes are around me.

Till next time…

Yours faithfully,

Tee.

SPEND CHRISTMAS ALONE AND ENJOY IT.

• 

Fine….I cant wait until January for sure!! I missed my space, I missed writing. This is the only way i actually can let go of both the good, bad and almost worst energies i have bottled up inside.

Its been actually an interesting year.Funny enough 80% of my friends have had quite an year. From heartbreaks, to weddings, to funerals, to new jobs, travelling around the world, to moving out (Psst!!! I moved out) . And I’m really happy all of us have a story to tell. At least i ain’t growing alone. 

The holidays are here. If there is one thing i am not lucky about, is that i don’t have parents nor grandparents to visit and since i am not married, i don’t have in laws to go annoy. My partner is somewhere in Africa,working.Goodness!! and the friends i’d want to spend the holidays with, are already parking ready to go to ushago or are already there…’Heeeyy Cookie…’ or some of them will be working…So…Literally I’m spending Christmas alone maybe…I guess….But Heeeeyyy!!! Its not such a bad thing…Right???

Who am i kidding!!! Its Pathetic!!! Its okay though…. 

Whoever said, “You never know what you got till is gone,”  I feel you aki.

Where am i headed with all this ranting….

Here are ways to spend Christmas alone, and enjoy it….

1. Don’t allow your thoughts or feelings to define your days.– You can’t control what you think or feel, but you have control of your choices and actions, so make it great! I honestly don’t think anyone enjoys being alone over this time but,remember that you deserve just as much festivity alone as you would with others. Don’t cheat yourself by thinking you deserve less because you’re alone! Love yourself honey, to the moon and back, and to the moon again and back.
2. Do something you used to enjoy as a kid – As for me on Christmas Eve, i enjoyed going to church to watch all those plays and skits and i used to find humor whenever a kid missed or forgot their lines. Gets to me to date. Later after midnight, id enjoy mom’s cake that she used to bake using a jiko.(We were poor then haha)… When i grew a little bit older, I’d sit at home the entire night and watch Christmas movies till dawn. These emotional stuff though….And when i grew more older older (Yaani after nmekua kua) Clubbing was life on Christmas Eve….But then… Its not as exciting as such when the entire crew are in different places of the world….
3. Be kind to someone – Kindness can be one of the most fulfilling things ever, whether it’s volunteering at a children’s home or cleaning out closets and donating to those in need. It’s a win-win; you help people in need AND create new space in your life to grow. Kindness is also proven to give your happiness and well-being a healthy boost. I just might try this out this year. 
4. Travel Solo -This should be on top of my list. I’m the kind of person who would do anything to go out of town.Ask the people who know me haha. I don”t mind travelling alone,i enjoy my company too much.I usually find myself telling myself jokes and laughing to them….Yessss I’m funny like that. This though, Here in Kenya, if you don’t plan your travels before the festive season, you in for a rude shock.Flights, train, buses are fully booked until New Years, and if you lucky enough to get space, prices are exaggerated and most definitely the hotels are fully booked. But for me, id choose this over any other iv’e mentioned.
5. Treat yourself to something special -Go shopping. This is one of my favorite hobbies, any day, any time….Helps me clear my mind. Have movie date. Going to see a movie or show alone can be a fun experience. Pick something that you really want to see.
6. Read a book -Setting aside long periods of time to read can help you get around to finishing that book you’ve been wanting to read and feel accomplished

The list is endless. I just don’t want to restrain myself from enjoying myself this holiday. I never live on regrets. …  If you got any more ideas on how I should spend Christmas, hit on the comment section….

Happy Holiday from me!!

Too much love….

Until next time,

T.

Time Out.

This year should end already. The dark cloud on my head, is just starting to pass. Finally!! I can learn to breath again.

Mother went to be with the angels. She really did fight. I still dont want to accept reality. Whichever time it will hit me, i will deal with it. For now, let me just move on with life. I will see her during the holidays i guess. Or maybe not. All i am trying to say is that we cannot rush the healing process.

So, some good news, my blog just got featured “The Fat Girl Next Door Blog in Feedspot Top 200 Plus Size Fashion Blogs”…https://blog.feedspot.com/plus_size_fashion_blogs/ . Go check it out especially for fashion bloggers. I am very grateful for this.

I have taken a bit of a break from blogging until December when i shall be doing my end of year project. Miss me hehehe. Though if you would like to feature in my blog, feel free to send your articles on my email.

To those who take time to read my blogs, and those who have subscribed and shared almost all of my articles, to those who have contributed, to the best photographers; Vladiq and Kim ,Thank you very much.

Till next time….

Love T.

MY JOURNAL.

Dear Diary,
For a second I thought 2018 was gon be that year you know, the year that I finally get a breakthrough from finances, to true friendship, to stabilizing my relationship, have a good connection with family, stay healthy and fit, then Booom!!!

Everything is going pretty well haaa!! It actually is my year.

So easy to mention all these things, so people think it has been too easy for me. They think I have changed. They see I have changed. And they are right! Yes, I have changed. Because I have learned. And I’m growing old.
I know Cate will be going through this and be like, “Tf, b** we said there is no growing old!” We hide in this statement to avoid facing reality, but Heeyy Mf, WE ARE GROWING OLD!!! (I still don’t get why she never calls me by my name. It’s always b***, Whore, Motherf**r….)

We only got 17 Wednesdays to Christmas. Yeah, the year is coming to an end. What I have experienced this year…. My God!!! Trust me, if anything is thrown at me, I am not scared anymore. I have seen and felt it all.

I’m still not sure if I have to air out my life to people, but how am I supposed to help someone who is going through a tough time not to give up. I’d rather share this with a stranger anyway, than ‘friends’ I know who would hold a meeting just to discuss me. Here goes stranger….

So in 2018, my mother had a heart attack and the very many times we have seen her giving up, it ain’t funny. But she’s alive. Not the same person anymore, but she is still alive. I almost lost a family member in a car crush but she is alive. If this is not God, honestly I don’t know what it is. This dark cloud that descended on us, wasn’t a joke. Is God!!

I finally got over my addiction to someone, someone who as much as it was all fun, love and good, the relationship drained all my happiness and peace of mind. Yes, I have moved on. It has taken me years!
I have let go of a 5 yr old toxic relationship that almost got me to depression. And what I have learned is that letting go of such friendships/ relationships, is okay especially when you realize you are not happy, not at peace. Fuck what other people will say or think. Once in a while it is okay to be selfish and put yourself first. As long as you happy. Even if it means being happy alone.

The friendships I once held up high, I cut all of them. I now don’t have to lend people money I know will never be returned. I don’t have to attend parties, gatherings just to please them… I don’t have to pretend I love them, when I actually can’t stand them. Hahaha I’m gon loose some more after they read this. Who cares anyway, they few remaining, I know they’d catch a grenade for me, and I would too without thinking twice.

My family, this was one hell of a battle. My big sister and I are now bffs, knowing there are days I couldn’t even stand her breathing. Look at us now, building our empire. We have gotten so close with my sisters and brothers, we have got to know more about each other and every time we meet, we know Jesus is among us. Beautiful!!
Daddy, I know you proud of us.

I’m learning to save for the future. I can easily balance between work and play. Something I couldn’t do before. If I tell you all the money I worked for ended in partying and clothes, you wouldn’t believe it. But I came to learn that everything has its own time. I know I sound like a motivational speaker right now. But when reality hits you, you will understand what I am talking about.

Watch this pace, 2019, is going to be bigger and better for us. Us, meaning my family, my 3,4,5 friends and my Love.

Speaking of Love, those people who have met the love of your lives, you all know when you meet the one. The right one, the one you are ready to go through hell and heaven with. Yeah, I found the love for me. A few of you who know me will laugh at this… People change guys!

My connection with God is on another level. He loves me, this I know. Despite the sinner I am, He loves me.

I am grateful for 2018; this is one year that has changed my life completely. I am not the same person I was in 2017. I am happy and so proud of myself, for being a better person. I finally found me.

Waiting eagerly for my new year.
Till next time…
Love,
T.

ANNOYING CLUBBING HABITS

“One for the party, Two for the, two for the money Three for the, three for the honey Four for the, four when you shake your bum bum bum bum …See, see me I like to party…”
This one I’m not even going to beat around the bush.
1. Stalkers
It’s a girl’s night out. We have dressed to kill. The squad doesn’t disappoint. Then there is this old baba and most of them are always in some blue faded jeans, brown checked or stripped coats, a ka kitambi and always has a brown bottle on one hand. Him and his confidence decide to just pop in the group and stands just behind you for you to rub his ball…Dudeee!!! If any of the girl’s would be interested in you, they’d make a move. Take a chill pill Mr.Sir.
2. The Emotional Train Wreck
‘A drunken mind is a sober heart’. It is not wrong to open up when you drunk coz maybe that is always the best opportunity you will get to tell a person in your circle how much you have been crushing on them, time o confess all your wrongs, or just the best time to remind your person how much you in love with them or even the best time to confront your competitor…Women drama though. But don’t open up then start crying over petty things and starting to break bottles and shouting because you think the circle really don’t take what you say seriously. You want drama? I’m sure there are very many audition calls every week on newspapers looking for people like you. Talent search right there.
3. The ‘Buy me a drink’ ladies
If you know Nairobi too well, there are these very affordable pubs just near Bus Station. Tufununu tunasema there is this group of girls who chill at these places from around 3pm. Just to hunt or rather spot people who tend to buy expensive liquor and cigarettes. All they need is to mark where you have sat and after every 30 minutes to an hour they pop up and be like,’nionjeshe shot’ or ‘nishikie kamoja’…Stop right there!!! First, I came here to hide away from the world either coz either I’m broke, I have had a long day, or I’m passing time as I wait for traffic to clear up. How sure are you that the cash I have will be able to sort out your one bottle… To make matters worse, we have never met; I didn’t even know if you existed until that moment. Not judging, but, get your sh** together love.
Then those in clubs, those ladies and men, especially ladies, who eneyewe God took time to create. You really dig their vibes then you ask for a dance and Boom!! ‘Buy me a drink first’. You know what, I’m done with you. I just can’t. Bye.
4. WWE!!
Why do we fight in clubs??Honestly, why do you have to spoil that mood just because you have anger management issues? Love, you could have stayed home, watch the WWE re-run and practice that with your pillow or something. We are adults, if something bothers you or pushes you to that extent, walk away. Or confront the other person. Always be the bigger person. You find almost everyone in clubs. People walk with guns, knives name it. Be careful.
5. The Drunkards
Good Lord!! We all know our limits. Why would you drink excessively to an extent you can’t walk straight, your vomit has decorated the floor of the club. (Sawa wewe interior designer). So he whole squad has to take care of your drunkard ass making us not have fun. May that demon for alcohol depart from you. Drink responsibly.
6. The Hustlers.
And by hustlers, I mean the thieves, pick pockets. There is this time; they stole my bag, and everything in it. Plus my coat. I hope it fitted you though. SMH. This is just wrong. You have no idea how people work too hard just to afford what they got and because you lazy and want the easy way out of life, you have to destroy someone’s night. God is seeing you.
7. People who use phones
I find this as the most annoying one. I mean, why did I waste my time to shower, dress, do make up, yet I have a million and one series to catch up on, a fridge full of food , my dog and a warm blanket to come and watch you use your phone. Disrespect of the highest order!!! Don’t forget, I have a phone too. Respect the time people create just to hang out with you. Time is money.
The list is endless…. Comment on any other habits that annoy you when clubbing.

Till next time…
Love T.

Fantasy Memoir By Tecla

To Papi,
I like this pen a lot. It fails me sometimes, you see. Just like you or just like most lovers. Since you are all I think about and I cannot tell you all about it-since we cannot make it public-I hope this does. You’re in London, texting a new girl (that is what my disillusioned mind tells me for the most part). Lemmie guess, the girl has subtle signs of looking like me and hopefully for you (and God forbid for me) replacing me… But we both know why ebony porn always hits the spot for you nowadays; You being all into dark tones of late, a rather peculiarly distinct memoir of what used to be me, your little girl, with that black booty that you liked so much- this writings can’t bring you back, but my emotions have to mean something, at least to me- primarily.
Why does someone as corny and weird as you always seem to check all of my boxes of ‘what I want in a man’ while adding so much more as well! I remember you said that I will never be able to scratch the itch of you off me. At first I thought it was weird- sounds so herpes-ish, you know. Wait, I hope you do not have herpes because that would spoil the fantasy of you know- what I am trying to create. God! I am getting carried away, am I not?
Okay I always get carried away when I write but I have something that must end up in paper.
Remember the beach I told you about, called Eden, after the Garden of Eden, courtesy of its exquisite beauty- the green mangroves shining in a round cluster, slowly paving way for the clear white coastal sands that only Kenya can brag about? The little Eden Island surrounded by the deep blue ocean waters and the big blue clear sky? I just realized we’d have trouble making love there, the water kinda having sea weed. I imagine you clicking and your face dropping with disappointment, while saying, ‘well that’s a bummer!’
Regardless, I thought of us in little Eden, brought up by a boat, burning with the smell of old wood, feet, white from sea dust combined with a divine finger fuck, ‘that g spot arousing finger fuck’, one finger in, one finger on my clit, one finger in my G – Spot, one finger in my ass- and you would wallow and enjoy my unique gestures of submission and arousal.. As your fingers got wet, not from the sea, but from my little sea- the irony is the fisherman rowing the boat would sing a coastal hymn in oblivion of the consent of a moment of passion right behind him. Am I not yours daddy? Does Papi not know his little girl well… I imagine looking at you intently and keenly, and it hitting me, daddy can tell the intensity of my orgasm from my poker face… Can’t he?
You’d probably get impatient to fuck me, seeing me all ready and my little pussy, as you always called it, wet for its owner, ready to please him. Then you’d get lost in the beauty of Eden and the dark beauty right at your sight… You’d lust over me, look at me keenly with lust filled eyes, then you’d give me a cheeky smile, that I only see when I get in trouble, rub your hands all over my bare naked thighs, lie over me much to the discomfort of the poor fisherman, then call me baby. I’d know I’m home. I know you’d know too.
The poor fisherman who doubles as a tour guide, would be caught up in the’ immorality that is associated with interracial relationships’ would subtly warn us of the calamity of people who fuck there. They always birth to twins. I don’t know why he considers twins to be a calamity.. There a lot of things I don’t know. Like why daddy does not listen when it comes to getting pleasure from his sub…. Daddy looks at the poor guy intently and says, ‘we’ll see what we’ll get.’
I love daddy! God! I love him. It’s not a love I reminisce about in pure disgust, but a bond I remember as one filled with trust, truth and total liberation. The only promise you broke was the ‘I’d never block you,’ but you had to didn’t you? Maybe it’s because I broke mine, ‘I am always going to be your baby’ promise when I said I was done with you, which you knew, truth to God, burn in hell for lying, that I was stubborn enough to never let you go. Maybe you broke my heart. Maybe I broke yours? What else do lovers do dear?
My fantasy today is not quite as sensual or pervasive as would your liking. Maybe I wished you’d ask me to marry you in that same spot, wallowing in sweat, probably from the coastal heat, probably from the affairs of the heart. You try not to show it though! You know what power does to my head-when I have it-I get pleasure from misusing it- but when I give it to you, climaxes happen, very literally and very metaphorically. Why do I sound as vain as you are daddy?
Maybe daddy would ask later, later when I have you in my arms, telling you about the pain I am have in my leg.
I have this eternal like feeling of pain in my leg- a severe muscle cramp..I know daddy would put the leg above his hip, his big white cock hanging on the sheets, a shallow tempting distance between me and the hole it’s supposed to fill. I know I’d be low key horny. He’d be very horny, alright and his dominating self would somehow convince me that his dick had healing powers. Maybe, just maybe, I’d let it slip in.. Right there in a perfect spoon.. Cheek to cheek, tongue to tongue, body to body, feeling your warmth and your British accent trying to steal words from my mouth in that perfect spooning position.
Dude, you are driving me insane, a thought interrupts my fantasy… Then I’d feel him in the depths of my little pussy as he calls it.. He’d grab my boobs with as much tenacity and ownership, coz I’m his.. Remember? I am his baby, his girl, his little slut, his little bitch with an attitude (and a bond with his member.) I’d feel him mourn in ecstasy. Him cumming makes me cum. Me cumming makes him cum so we fuck each other with all that we got, bodies rubbing against each other, screams, ecstasy and delusions. He’d say ‘fuck! I love you.. Will you please daddy by loving him back…
By marrying him?’ I kiss him hard, rolling my tongue in his mouth, rubbing my hand on his cock which still had some of his thick white load spilled on. It gets hard on me. Fuck that makes me wet, we get on it again.. He fucks me hard, then harder, then slightly harder, I feel him chocking me. I am happily running out air as I push my front to meet his.. ‘did baby forget to tell daddy something?’ daddy asks.. Baby is quiet. Daddy bangs baby. Turns her upside down. Face down on her pillow.. Ass up.
My favorite thing about daddy is the fact that he knows when to withhold pleasure to get what you want… How else can you convince a baby as stubborn as I am? So he pulls out his cock and puts his finger in me.. The middle finger and touches that spot. I scream for dear life.. I can’t take it anymore..I tell him to stop.. Daddy tells me that he does not stop.. So what do I do, I cum I squat, I cry, then I cum again and say, daddy I am yours. He goes on, I can’t take it anymore and at the peak of my climax, I say it..Daddy I love you, I fucking love you.. Fuck I love you,, then a bunch of gibberish after that. In the aftermath of the mess, I turn around. I look at him. He looks me deep in my hazel eyes. He says, let’s get married baby.
I do not know if I’d actually go through with the promise, I don’t know if I’d say yes, but I’d die to exchange vows to that British accent that I know all too clearly. You know it has that effect on me. I’m still not as vain as you daddy. Okay. Maybe a little. Okay. Fuck this shit. Apologies for cursing. And the apologies. Fuck the whole world then.
I’d probably show up in a hueish pink dress to highlight my dark complexion that you never get enough of in front of five of my friends and family. We’d disappear into the hotel room soon after creating a scene in the boat, the best way we know how to. The hotel room was a good idea. Someone cum on my dress though. I’d have to drag you into the after party, because what kind of horny guests would we be turning into though?
Papi tell me?
Our little appearance would last three whiskey shots. Drunk you required a total submissive me. May be the compromise is totally worth-just for tonight. Maybe daddy changed his mind. Daddy made love to me. Maybe baby loves daddy. Maybe daddy loves baby. Maybe F met T.
I love him. I do. I hope I get to tell him. I maybe never tell him face to face, do our egos give us air? If they let us, just for a minute or two, if we admit to each other, that we just click, maybe then the gods would align the stars and the either/or relocating promise would be fulfilled or at least discussed.
Ps. I am deeply in love with you. You’d still pay for the relocating ticket. Thank you for making me love again- a love that is ironically made wholer in the fruition of our stupid egos- birthing rejection.
From Baby.

STRANGERS AGAIN.

There is two parts of being in a relationship. Its either breaking up, or getting married. Have you ever thought of what would happen if you and the love of your life go separate ways?? This part of all relationships scares the hell out of me. This is where I get severe migraines and insomnia for days.
I should probably be a love doctor at this juncture. Lately, I have gotten too busy chasing money which at times is not really worth it if it will make you spend less time with the people who care so much about you. The few people I always talk to, I always tell them, “Money comes, money goes”. So don’t cancel those dates, coz you might never know when the last time you will be to see this people, while you were busy chasing paper…..Anyways…
It’s so pathetic how people would do so much for the people they love then they end up giving up on each other. Sucks!!
Have you ever met someone and for the first time you have lay your eyes on them, all you want is to know more about them, all you want to do is talk to them the whole day and night, and every single time you go on dates, you get butterflies almost making you paralyzed by just a touch or that look…. At that particular time she is your number one priority. You get that feeling, don’t you? This is always the first stage of a relationship; I call it ….The Chase.
Remember when she used to be your unicorn, the girl you never though could exist. It’s sad how it gets to a place where all that fun times, are now one fight after the other.
The honeymoon!! Stage 2. This is where you get the chance to fully express what you really feel about the person. The girl you wanted to be with so badly is finally yours. And suddenly, normalcy kicks in. You already know every detail of each other’s lives, their routine, how she likes her noodles prepared, a million and one pictures of each other and now you got to “….posti insta huwanga kuwakera….” I love this ‘Kwa Ngwaru’ song btw….The normal healthy couple which takes us to the next stage…
The comfortable stage…So the movie nights ,you can’t agree anymore on what to watch, or rather don’t care what should be watched, or what should be cooked for dinner, or who should cook at all. This stage at times comes in after months, or years….Here you are too comfy with each other, and actually it is the most dangerous stage, depending on how you use it. Some use it positively to keep working on their relationships, while others create distance….While others, take each other for granted. You forget dinner nights, cancel work out dates, because, it is not important anymore…You find other things to do…Reason being, life gets in between. No more goodnight kisses, no more calls to check up on how you doing and reminding each other on things like brushing your teeth before bed….
Whether it’s taking each other for granted, or people changing over time, the bottom line is, someone stops trying and feelings aren’t as strong as it was before.

Tolerance. Stage 5. The person you couldn’t live a day without, isn’t special anymore. It hits you by chance and don’t find them as important. It happens gradually. You start tolerating each other. No more vibes. Small, unnecessary arguments… Arguing is one thing but feeling dissatisfied with each other is another thing. You try fixing things but it’s not enough. The relationship isn’t bad, but it’s not enough.
Stage 6. Downhill….
Nothing much is left here. Problems are not solved anymore. What happens to everyone doesn’t even make sense…The end of the line…
The breaking up stage….” I think it’s for the best” You all know this line…. You all back to where it started…
Strangers again.
The point where you all agree to start living your lives away from each other and agree to remain friends until she introduces you to her new bae….The inevitable end and all you remain with are memories.
While you still have the girl of your dreams. The one you love to much. The one worth sleepless nights and endless tears falling on your pillow. Fight. As long as she makes you happy, f**k what people think.
Love grows, and it should grow with you. Together. Sadly this is the circle of life, but maybe we should not give up on the ones we true love, who knows, she may be everything you have ever wanted. Your happily ever after.
-Tee-